Episode 6

I made it to my stop in time for a good spot on the line. The dark blotchy sky was still beautiful.

I checked my Bus Time app at 6:20 and there were no buses listed for the SIM22. Did I miss something? I was about to cross the lot to another stop when a bus rolled up. No name, just “Not in Service” flashing as the door opened. I checked the bus stop again for another SIM bus but there was only one. Oh well. I refreshed the app and it still didn’t show the 22. I guess because he wasn’t in service. (He never turned the sign over and I got a row all to myself.) He was late though. Should’ve been on the bus by 6:13 but I’ll let it pass.

7:14 Yeah, about letting it pass…

So we come to an absolute stop. I hear something over the loud speaker so I mute Weezy’s Carter V album and hear:

“All Jersey buses headed to Lincoln Tunnel, do not use expedited bus lane. I repeat, do not use expedited bus lane. Use regular lanes for Lincoln Tunnel, headed toward NYC.”

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Episode 5

Friday marked my first official work week in the city. I knew which bus route to get me in early (SIM22) and which to get me home in decent time (SIM10 or 30)

I learned never to travel up to 42nd to catch a bus to Staten Island.

And yes, I still love commuting to Manhattan everyday. The scenery is exciting, here’s a recap:

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Episode 4

Do people actually smell themselves before leaving for work in the morning?

I was headed toward the bus stop for the SIM22 and some guy trailed me. He power walked from far behind and then appeared in front of me.

Is he kidding?

I looked at the long line we were headed for and this crazy man legit jumped up to the sidewalk in his grey suit like it was a race. I casually stepped onto the sidewalk, glanced in his direction and took my spot in line, right next to him.

What The hell did I just witness so early in the morning? The sun wasn’t even up yet.

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Juggling Bats 101

So, my juggle trainer showed me the basics of the bat-shaped juggle things.

Give me a month, I’ll be juggling three at a time!

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Episode 3

New route:

S74 to the depot.

SIM22 to Midtown.

Mood: Driver said good morning back.

Things to remember so far:

1. Stand in line at the bus stop. Don’t be that person who cuts unintentionally. This shit is serious.

2. If you choose an empty row to sit, move in. Don’t sit on the outside chair, shimmy your early ass over to the window so the next person doesn’t have to go crazy for a seat.

3. Wear sneakers. I can’t say that enough. Save the cute shoes for your actual shift.

4. Download the MTA Bus Time app. Unless you have it already, which you should. I have no shame being new to the game.

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Episode 2

My first day was successful enough to inflate my confidence for day two. I said I would be the tester of these new MTA routes. Here it goes.

I was at the transit center by 5:50AM waiting for the SIM6, but saw the SIM31 and thought it might be one of the Jersey buses that travel to 42nd St. It was raining so I figured I’d rather take a train afterward than walk over 4 avenues so I leaned into the stairwell and said I wanted to ask him something.

“No questions!”

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Episode 1

The 6AM bus came at 6:23…

The new SIM10 stopped twenty-something times before it even caught a glimpse of the Verrazano bridge.

Once we began our slow merge onto the top level, a pitchy lady screamed from outside the bus. Before I could attempt to make out what she was saying through the muffled traffic, the bus driver yelled back, “I’m sick!” And sniffled for the 100th time. The mumbling of words happened again and he grunted “We’re at capacity!” He continued to make his way over to the left lane.

I didn’t hear the driver speak again for the rest of the trip.

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